Today, I am launching a crowdfund page to raise the money for an operation to sew my mouth closed.
An extreme measure, yes, but also the only way to protect us all from volcanic-like eruption of idiocy that occurs when it is opened.
At this very moment, I feel the ignorance rising like magma within me. The pressure is building, forcing some new, bewilderingly misinformed proclamation towards my lips until it explodes into the atmosphere like a toxic cloud.
Disabled people are lazy.
There. You see? It won’t be long until there is another one.
Help me, please. Just a small donation could help close this portal into an alternative world of boundless insensitivity.
How will I eat? With difficultly. A bit like the unemployed, I suppose.
If there were any.
I’ve done it again, haven’t I?